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  1. #1
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Default Parents of high school+ age kids- your friends

    Curious what friend group(s) shook out for you after time elapsed. I know my friend group has changed as my kids got older and seems to have settled with the parents of ds1's high school friends. It's a great group. Seeing how we routinely get together, I feel like their primary friend group shook out the same way. I miss some of the friendships from back in the k-8 era but we all just kind of moved on when kids changed schools, activities...
    I know some people are just friends with their childhood friends. I live somewhere where a fair number of people stay put. My friends from youth all scattered through.
    Also, would you say your friend group is mostly your friends with your dh/partner as the +1 (and all of the other spouses/partners too)?
    How about you?

  2. #2
    AnnieW625's Avatar
    AnnieW625 is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Default Parents of high school+ age kids- your friends

    Well we moved after 8th grade for DD1 and Covid didn?t help us keep in touch with the few close friends we had from that era. We never really became friends with DD2?s classmates parents because they were already a clique before Dd2 joined their class in kindergarten (the clique all started in pre k). We all friendly but not besties who hung out all of the time or whatnot. With that said the parents that we did get along with the best Dh and I are friends with them on social media.

    Currently I feel like we are finally finding friends in our new city. It took some time due to Covid and what not but we have hung out with two of DD1?s friend?s parents a few times this year including having them over for dinner last weekend to watch a Stanley Cup playoff game. I hope they continue to be friends with us for years to come as our daughters are close friends. We haven?t really made good friends with DD2?s friends parents yet as we honestly haven?t met most of them because when we had a party for her last weekend not a single parent stayed for the party. We have made friends with one other set of DD2?s friends parents but I honestly don?t see us hanging out with them outside of an occasional family game night setting.

    ETA: I have my group of 4 close friends growing up; two are twin sisters, another is a girl who we grew up with in my hometown, and the fourth is my second cousin who grew up in SoCal. I would drop anything for any them. Two live in my hometown, the other lives on the central coast, and my cousin lives in SoCal. We don?t text much or see each other much but when we do it is like nothing changed.

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    Last edited by AnnieW625; 05-09-2024 at 01:27 AM.
    Annie
    WOHM to two wonderful little girls born in April
    DD E, 17
    DD L, 13,
    baby 2, 4-2009 (our Tri-18 baby)

  3. #3
    mmsmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I would say I have about 4 current friend groups. Friends from childhood/high school/college who live in same city as me, neighbors, “school mom” friends (mostly older child’s friends moms but there is some overlap) and a group of women that I met when I lived in NYC but now live all over. We moved when DC were 11 and 9 and only keep up with friends from their early childhood days through social media.

  4. #4
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    When we moved from the twin cities for my dad 13 years ago we left behind a great group of friends. We have tried to stay in touch with some of them and for those whose kids are grown, it?s been easier. And when we moved ti this community it?s such an unusual community. It?s a community of devout, traditionalist Catholics. Most of the moms are very busy with their big families. So it?s hard to make close friends. It?s much easier to socialize as couples.

    It turns out that my friend group is moms of DS2? and DD?s friends. When we have New Year?s Eve parties and pool parties in the summer, those are the families we invite and get along with best. I hope we continue to hang out even after our kids are moved out. They are fun.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  5. #5
    essnce629's Avatar
    essnce629 is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I have 4 separate friend groups. One is me and my 5 best friends from high school. We've all been friends since we were 14. 3 are in San Diego, I'm in Los Angeles, 1 is in Chicago, and 1 is in Florida so we're rarely all together, but we have a group text that we talk on daily. We're like sisters.

    My other 3 groups are mom friend groups. One group are the moms from DS1's elementary school graduating class. There's 5 of us and we usually get together monthly for breakfast/lunch and each one of our birthdays. The other group are the moms from DS2's elementary school graduating class. There's 3 of us (the 4th just moved away) and we usually get together for breakfast every 3 months (we just met up this morning). The third group is another group of moms from the same elementary school but our kids weren't all in the same grade together. There's 4 of us and we usually get together every 3 months for dinner.
    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
    Parker 5/23/09 (My 2nd home birthed water baby!)

  6. #6
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    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I don’t have close friends—my sister long distance, one friend from high school, and the rest are various levels of acquaintances.
    I don’t prefer it this way, it just is what it is. Very small circles with no one close.
    K

  7. #7
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I have always found that I have more people who would like to spend time socially with me than I have time available to spend. Maybe it won't always be like this? I don't think it is so much that I'm an introvert but that my life is really full right now and I find social fulfillment in a lot of day to day interactions that have other purposes, for lack of a better description. So my best friends are my sisters and SILs. Sisters are all long distance but we talk every single day through Polos or texts, sometimes on the phone. SILs live locally and all three of us have gotten busier in the past five years or so but we still spend time together fairly frequently.

    I'm on a couple of committees through church and scouting and I count some of those people my very close friends right now, even though we don't often do things outside of these events. I have a few people I'm helping out in various ways, a friend who is deaf and needs rides, a friend dealing with depression, another that had a horrific loss and I check in with them all the time. I even get good social interaction with my two bosses. I've worked with one of them for 17 years and the other for the past 7 or so and although we don't hang out on the weekends, our interactions always fill my canteen.

    I think the only social interaction that I actively seek out is my book group, though lately we've all been busier and meeting less.

    DH doesn't get a lot of social satisfaction from his job and recently we've been doing more couples excursions, game nights and nights out for his benefit. Its funny because I always like these evenings and I feel like they are crucial for DH but for me I'd rather read a book most nights. Which again, makes me seem like a introvert but it is more a feature of getting lots and lots of social interactions during the week and needing a little more down time (I think I'm an ambivert?) But even when I grumble, I do get a lot of joy from these evenings out. Like it fills my battery even when I am resistant to putting in the time?

    The one thing I've never really been good at is making friends with any of my DCs friends' parents! I don't know why. It seems like these groups are more self-centered almost? Like we can only be friends as long as our kids like each other and if there is a conflict between our DCs and the friends than these women only can see their own kids' sides? It has just never worked out for me. I feel like I've even tried and I think I scare people off. So while I am friends with some of my DCs friends parents, it is usually that I've developed a friendship another way first. Like through a committee or church...

  8. #8
    jent's Avatar
    jent is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    My friend group has changed, though not necessarily because of DD getting older, but after we moved 3+ hours away (and we had only lived there 7 years... we've moved a lot). I mainly keep in touch with those friends via social media.

    I moved away from where I grew up, as did my childhood friends. I have 2 friends that I keep in touch sporadically.

    My college friends are also spread out. There are a handful that are a short drive away and we try to get together. My college best friend is a 5-hour drive, we talk on the phone (kind of sporadically) and try to get together once a year or more.

    Our new location (we've been here 5 years), I have really struggled to find friends here. Maybe because DD was middle school age when we moved, maybe because of Covid. Also we are introverts/homebodies and just really bad at making the effort to go out or invite new acquaintances over!
    Jen, mom to "Little Miss Tiny" 4/07

  9. #9
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Most of my friends are ones I've met though the kids. A couple are parents of kids DS1's age, but DS1 isn't friends with their kids. One of them I met in mom's club when the boys were under age 2! The boys haven't been friends since maybe 5 years old though - just different interests. A couple are parents of kids DD's age. There is one that is a parent of her best friend. We're not good friends, but we will likely still get together after graduation at times. I have very few friends from DS2's friends. I think by that time I ended up feeling way older than most of them and we have never really connected. I have one friend from college that I still get together with a few times a year as well. It will be interesting to see where it all falls in a couple of years when all the kids have graduated.
    Kris

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