If you are in a long term relationship or married- date night

[jgenie]

The last date night we had we had to bail early. One of our DC was at a party and sent out a bat signal. DH said let them wait but I have told both my DC that I will drop everything if they send out a bat signal. We had our dinners packed to go,and off we went. I didn’t mind so much because we were at an expensive restaurant and the tables were so close our neighbors were less than a foot away from us. Couple that with the potty mouth one of them had and I was so over it. I’ve become much more of a grouch as I have aged. If I’m spending money to have someone else cook, I want to walk away feeling content. That rarely happens now with restaurants so short handed.

We don’t travel without our DC. DH travels extensively for work so rarely travels for pleasure. Doesn’t seem fair to leave DC when we travel for leisure.

[gobadgers]

We had fallen out of date nights completely for a while, but we've been trying to pick it up again in the past year or two. I think we both got a little bored with, "Well, should we go to Brewpub A or Brewpub B?" They're nice, but it didn't feel special... we're both typically tired and we needed a little push to do something off our beaten path. We restarted something we did with friends back when we were single, to decide on dinner - we're methodically (if very slowly) making our way through the alphabet, trying a new restaurant that starts with the next letter. I think it feels more like an event, and we've tried some great places for which we never would have made the effort otherwise. A little goofy, but it's been working for us :-)

[sariana]

No. DH is hardly even home anymore (military).

[♥ms.pacman♥]

yeah a couple times DH & I go out to comedy show. but that's something like every several months. it's SO nice to not have to worry about getting a sitter!!

[Liziz]

We'll go out every few months right now. Usually just to dinner, but to a nicer place, and we'll often take longer at our meal (have an appetizer and dessert, have drinks before the meal, etc.). We occasionally do something else (show, movie, etc.) but it's rarely on the same night as going out to dinner. We're at the point where we'll leave DC home by themselves, but don't like to be gone tooooo long yet.

[Peaches Keane]

We don’t have anyone we can rely on for babysitting. Pre-Covid, we would just take the kids with us. We would call nicer places and ask ‘if strollers would fit in the dining room?’ as a way of finding out if kids were welcome. Once, we were told yes, but when we got there they tried to tell us to put the stroller in the closet. My DD was asleep in the stroller and I said, “No way!” DH reminded them about the phone call and said this is why we called and asked the question. They begrudgingly let us in. They seated us in the worst seat in the house and several waiters hovered over us and glared at us through the meal.

We brought our own booster seat for DS (Fischer Price Healthy Car) plus a backpack (Skip Hop Zoo backpack with leash) with Crayola Color Wonder Markers and Clolor Wonder paper packed inside. The waiters eyes bugged out when they saw the markers. It was a white table cloth place. DH tied to stop me from allowing DS from using them. I told him to have more faith in my judgement and planning abilities.

At the end of the night, after we’d paid the bill and left a nice tip, quite a few of the stink-eye workers came around and complimented us on our children’s behavior. We still laugh about it. We brought the kids back a few more times until COVID.

DH has always been a major germophobe. We haven’t eaten out anywhere since except for a local restaurant with an outdoor patio and the art museum at lunchtime.

He works a week on and a week off. When he’s off and the kids are in school, we’ll order a fancy lunch for carry out and eat it somewhere scenic. I call these Parking Lot Picnics. Now that he has a hybrid vehicle, we’ve been trying out places near public charging stations and have been trying them out. My favorite has been the seafood place near the zoo.

If I want to dress up, I sign up for art museum events. Sometimes we go to things together when the kids are in school. Sometimes we all go as a family. Sometimes I go solo.

A very nice restaurant near the kids schools has an early bird menu. I once dreamed of signing the kids up for an activity and doing that menu with DH. It never worked out. I recently discovered aftercare allows drop ins. So, maybe we could do it that way. The Y offers occasional “parents night out events” and I just signed the kids up for a similar thing with the high school in December. A one time 4-8:15 event touted as a way to get your Christmas shopping done.

[o_mom]

Grabbing a beer and nachos while watching the kid's sports game at the indoor fields is about as close to date night as we get. Circumstances are just such that we have very few opportunities for going out alone.

[KpbS]

We got into the habit of it for a while when both DC at home would go to the same evening activity, we would go to dinner. It could work again now with the time change. It's rare these days to eat together as a family so if that is an option, we chose that instead of the 1/2 times a month we might go out.

I agree with telling your DH that you would like for him to plan something and tell him if you would like for it to just be going out to eat or dinner plus a movie, show, shopping, etc. You could each take turns and plan one night a month each (go out twice).

[DualvansMommy]

When I was married, going out on a date when kids were very young was a regular occurrence like op! So i get what you mean, then the busyness of our lives with kids in travel sports; we even spend time apart some weekends with one kid each at different out of town tournaments.

Then, when we were having marriage troubles, he tried in his bid and it was immediately post pandemic. So i wasn?t still entirely comfortable going to crowded places like Broadway in the city.

Now i have the best kind of dates; dating myself

Op: maybe it?s the effort from DH you like to see that isn?t an errand together or a trip together. I?d say talk to him about that and see how it lands, maybe you can take turns to plan something DIFFERENT you guys normally don?t do; Axe throwing, pickle ball, comedy show, wine/sip, masterclass or personal chef class, then to drinks afterwards to wrap up the night.


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