Neurodivergent diagnosis for teen (ASD?)

[georgiegirl]

Has anyone?s kid been diagnosed with autism or some other neurodivergence as a teenager (or spouse as an adult)?

We have struggled with DS1 (15) for as long as I can remember. We?ve always known he has (severe) ADHD. At some point, other things have been thrown around like anxiety, OCD, and even ODD at some point. Nothing really helps. While we went to therapy for a while, he refused to go about 2 years ago. Anyway, in September his psychiatrist was able to see the behavior that is very concerning (emotional volatility, inability to listen my point of view, incredibly stubbornness), and she suggested that he might be in the autism spectrum. She wants him evaluated for autism and other type of communication disorders. Of course we can?t get in until late March/early April. I had never considered autism before since DS2 has autism and they are totally different, and DS1 has always been social and friendly and affectionate. But the more I started thinking about it, the more I realize he might be on the autism spectrum. I had always considered certain behaviors manipulative, but maybe that?s not the case. His thinking is incredibly rigid, he?s emotionally volatile, he perseverates on things, he?d addicted to screens, poor executive functioning skills, he cannot think about things from other peoples perspectives. And he has insane hyper focus. He?s been obsessed with a variety of things, but most recently it?s been chess (chess obsession screams neurodivergence, right?). I know DS1 would completely flip out and I?m worried that he won?t even agree to the evaluation.

Just wondering if any of you have dealt with evaluations of teenagers for autism or other related neurodivergence things.


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[jent]

So, not direct experience, but my niece got a diagnosis of ASD in high school. She was also relatively social (though introverted to a degree), then in her teens began to struggle with anxiety, and (I think) some executive planning issues.

Since they live in another state, I don't really know much about the details of how they went about getting the diagnosis and also what followed. My sister commented at 1 point that even though she had a diagnosis, it was hard to get accommodations at her high school because she had always been doing well academically.

[gatorsmom]

Yep, I?ve posted about ds1 here this year when he was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. He?s a junior in college. After he got out of the hospital he started seeing a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with ADHD. It wasn?t really a surprise since 2 other members of our family have been diagnosed with it. He said it was a relief to know why his executive functioning was so poor and why he gets so distracted all the time. He started adhd medication and a new anti-depressant, and he?s doing so much better. The psychiatrist diagnosed him in one of their sessions that I sat in on. We went through a detailed process of questions.

My Dh was diagnosed with adhd this past spring and started taking adderall. I don?t know much about the diagnostic process he went through. We were pretty sure he had adhd anyway based on how his brain works. I think he started the adderall because I complained that he interrupts me all the time. I hated it and told him so. Otherwise, he managed his adhd pretty well so I?m not sure why he started taking it. I?m not even sure he takes it everyday. I should probably ask him.

OP, I hope you can find the answers you are looking for. Bring able to put a name on something can be disappointing but also helpful at the same time. Hugs to you and your son.

[California]

I have students who have gone through the evaluation process as 14 year olds. It is so much better to get the evaluation done now, before he turns 18. In addition to working with his doctor and your insurance, his school should do an evaluation at no cost to you.

Getting a diagnosis and working with his school sped Ed and counseling team on an IEP or 504 plan will make it easier for him to get accommodations in college (if he chooses to go that route.) He/you can pass a copy of the plan on to the college disabilities office (whatever it?s called at his school.) They will alert professors.

While it sounds like Gatorsmom?s family has had a good experience, I?ve heard from many people in education that it can be harder once a student turns 18 to get a diagnosis and accommodations. Plus, once he exits high school he?ll no longer qualify for a free evaluation.

If he does get a diagnosis of being on the autism spectrum, it may fire up his interest in learning about his brain. I have seen that among friend groups in my classes. That may help both of you with some of his frustrating behaviors. It can be an ?a-ha? moment for teens. It sounds like he has multiple ones but nothing has quite explained what is going on, which is really hard on him and his parents.

[MSWR0319]

While it sounds like Gatorsmom?s family has had a good experience, I?ve heard from many people in education that it can be harder once a student turns 18 to get a diagnosis and accommodations. Plus, once he exits high school he?ll no longer qualify for a free evaluation.

Based on the experiences we've had trying to get DH diagnosed so he can try meds, I'm going to say this is 100% true. He's a classic case of ADHD inattentive and we can't get anywhere. Psychologist even told us no need for full testing, as it would be a waste of time and to get checked for sleep apnea. He did, no sleep apnea. So now he won't go to another dr because he was told "there's nothing wrong".

[m4nash]

My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD, GAD and even at one point ODD as an elementary schooler, and with ASD as an 11th grader. My oldest is quite social, but can also be socially awkward with their peers. They do not read nonverbal cues well and kind of talk at others about whatever they are interested in, rather than talking with others about mutual interests. My child always struggled with writing assignments, but particularly struggled with anything where they have to infer thoughts or feelings from a story or where they were supposed to write about their own feelings. Their thinking is very black and white. Overall my kid was a strong student, rule follower, and interacted well with adults, so in grade school their neurodivergence was generally overlooked or dismissed by their teachers. They had issues once they started taking dual enrollment classes in high school and that is why we had them evaluated again in 11th grade.

The official diagnosis was helpful for setting up accommodations in college.

[georgiegirl]

My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD, GAD and even at one point ODD as an elementary schooler, and with ASD as an 11th grader. My oldest is quite social, but can also be socially awkward with their peers. They do not read nonverbal cues well and kind of talk at others about whatever they are interested in, rather than talking with others about mutual interests. My child always struggled with writing assignments, but particularly struggled with anything where they have to infer thoughts or feelings from a story or where they were supposed to write about their own feelings. Their thinking is very black and white. Overall my kid was a strong student, rule follower, and interacted well with adults, so in grade school their neurodivergence was generally overlooked or dismissed by their teachers. They had issues once they started taking dual enrollment classes in high school and that is why we had them evaluated again in 11th grade.

The official diagnosis was helpful for setting up accommodations in college.

Very interesting about writing assignments and inferring characters feelings. This past weekend, I was trying to help DS1 brainstorm for an essay comparing racial prejudice in To Kill a Mockingbird and The Hate U Give. Huge struggle on his part. His thinking was so black and white. So frustrating for me. Zero nuance or critical analysis. Last year his English teacher kept marking him down because his responses were very flat and one dimensional. This year, the (male) teacher who also has a teenage boy himself has lower expectations, so the lot summary with surface level analysis is sufficient. So at least he feels better about himself.

[Moneypenny]

Yes, DD was diagnosed at 18/19. She had aged out of the pediatric network so had to do it as an adult, which takes a looonngg time. When she first told DH and I that she thought she had autism, we kind of internally scoffed because she didn't present the way I expect someone with autism to present. But once I started researching it, we filled out the surveys as part of the diagnostic process, etc, I could totally see the accuracy of the diagnosis. It has really helped her anxiety and depression to have a reason for certain things being really difficult for her that isn't some version of "I just really suck as a human being".

[Gracemom]

My son was diagnosed at 13 with level 1 ASD - used to be called Asperger's or high functioning autism. I was really worried about what he would think about the diagnosis but it initially helped him understand why he is the way he is. Most people don't know he has autism besides school, family and the people he decides to tell. He mostly "looks" autistic when highly stressed. The diagnosis really helped most teachers and the school work with him better. He has needed minimal accommodations. The things that helped the most are a room he can go to when feeling overwhelmed, and not being threatened with truancy due to absences. He had a period of school phobia in middle school, which was awful. The school also gave him a therapist at school once a week, and we got super lucky that his approach worked for my son.

He is an 18 year old senior in high school now and is doing much better. He has matured and has a small friend group. He goes to school every day and actually doesn't want to be absent, and remembers to do his homework etc. He is starting to doubt if he's really autistic since he's doing better. But then something stresses him out and he's reminded of some of his autistic tendencies, such as rigidity. He does worry about how having an autism diagnosis may affect his future career choices.

[Liziz]

I also have a niece that was recently diagnosed while in high school. I don't have detailed information, but she saw a younger sibling (whose autism-related challenges were much more apparent at a much younger age) go through the diagnosis process and it really got her thinking about herself. Like Moneypenny's DD, she actively asked her parents to help get her evaluated, and she did receive a dx while in high school. Although she does very well in school and didn't need lots of accommodations, it was very validating for her to have some "whys" about why she often felt different from some of her peers. It's been a very empowering process for her. I wish I had more details, but I can say that my niece and her parents are all very glad that they went through the process.