Do you donate/sell some baby gear even if you're not sure you're done?

[sarahsthreads]

We're trying to declutter our pathetically crammed (finished, walkout, useless at the moment due to too much stuff) basement and I'm looking at all these massive pieces of baby gear trying to come to terms with the idea of not keeping it all for a potential 3rd child. We aren't sure we're done having kids, but if we do have another it won't be for at least another year. And having had primary and secondary infertility, the likelihood is really, really small anyway.

I'd keep the cradle, crib, pack & play, mac triumph, infant-to-toddler rocker and the travel booster. Some or all of these would be useful to visiting babies or future grandchildren and/or don't take up a lot of space. But then things like the baby swing, the high chair, the bouncy seat, the infant tub, the joovy stroller and the step & play piano exersaucer-type-thingy seem excessive to keep when we're not sure we'll ever have another child.

In my head I know I can replace all of these things if we are blessed with another child. But if I'm honest with myself, the biggest reason I'm balking at getting rid of these things is because a future DC3 would not have his/her "firsts" pictures taken in the same equipment - first bath, first meals, etc. That's really, really stupid, right? Someone tell me to go find someone who could use this stuff now and that there will be better things out there if I ever need it again...please?

Sarah

[SnuggleBuggles]

I kept it. My friend once said I'll know when I am done when I start booting out that stuff. I kept everything between the boys even though I often said I was done. I didn't want to have to rebuy things. If you have the space, I vote for hanging on to it. And I wish you lots of luck TTC!

Beth

[egoldber]

You should go find someone who could use this stuff now and there will be better things out there if you ever need it again. Really.

I might keep something sentimental, like a cradle, but other than that I would find a home for that stuff. My kids are 5 years apart and even then I found a lot of my stuff was really not in that great shape when I went to use it again. Pieces were broken or missing or faded. And I found that I was lot more accepting of hand me down gear and clothes the next time around than I was the first time.

I also found that I used things a LOT shorter time than I did with my oldest: things like the swing, the saucer, the bouncy, etc. I had so much stuff in my house already for the older child that I simply got tired much more quickly of having the baby gear around. I was eager to be done with it and get it out of my house!

[goldenpig]

We're trying to declutter our pathetically crammed (finished, walkout, useless at the moment due to too much stuff) basement and I'm looking at all these massive pieces of baby gear trying to come to terms with the idea of not keeping it all for a potential 3rd child. We aren't sure we're done having kids, but if we do have another it won't be for at least another year. And having had primary and secondary infertility, the likelihood is really, really small anyway.

I'd keep the cradle, crib, pack & play, mac triumph, infant-to-toddler rocker and the travel booster. Some or all of these would be useful to visiting babies or future grandchildren and/or don't take up a lot of space. But then things like the baby swing, the high chair, the bouncy seat, the infant tub, the joovy stroller and the step & play piano exersaucer-type-thingy seem excessive to keep when we're not sure we'll ever have another child.

In my head I know I can replace all of these things if we are blessed with another child. But if I'm honest with myself, the biggest reason I'm balking at getting rid of these things is because a future DC3 would not have his/her "firsts" pictures taken in the same equipment - first bath, first meals, etc. That's really, really stupid, right? Someone tell me to go find someone who could use this stuff now and that there will be better things out there if I ever need it again...please?

Sarah

I've been lucky not to have to deal with infertility yet but otherwise I'm in the same exact boat! ITA about the wanting to keep things for pictures...it's not stupid to feel that way! I'm struggling with whether to get rid of stuff like the bouncers...I have one pink and one blue one and I can't decide whether to get rid of them because i have so many cute pictures of DC in them and I want to have the same pics of any future kid if we have another. But I'm sentimental I guess. We even have DH's old wooden highchair in the garage...totally not usable as a real high chair but we can't seem to get rid of it because we have pics of DH and now DD/DS in them.

Can you loan stuff out? One of my friends loaned me her exersaucer and now that my DS is growing out of it, she has a 2nd child that can use it again. If not, you could sell it and rebuy things off CL if you ever have another.

[Puddy73]

You should go find someone who could use this stuff now and there will be better things out there if you ever need it again. Really.

I might keep something sentimental, like a cradle, but other than that I would find a home for that stuff. My kids are 5 years apart and even then I found a lot of my stuff was really not in that great shape when I went to use it again. Pieces were broken or missing or faded. And I found that I was lot more accepting of hand me down gear and clothes the next time around than I was the first time.

I also found that I used things a LOT shorter time than I did with my oldest: things like the swing, the saucer, the bouncy, etc. I had so much stuff in my house already for the older child that I simply got tired much more quickly of having the baby gear around. I was eager to be done with it and get it out of my house!

I found that I was less sentimental about things when I unpacked them. The little sleepers, blankets and socks that were so precious when I put them away just looked faded and yucky. I also used less stuff with each DC. For instance, I never used a baby tub, boppy, saucer or bouncy seat for DD2 and I rarely used the stroller.

[MomToOne]

It's not stupid to feel that way. I gave away something I would love to use with a second child only because my first used it *so* much and I was sentimentally attached to it. And yes would love to have a picture of subsequent children in. (It was a bouncer.) Do I still feel bad about it? Yeah a little. I, like, 30% regret it and 70% am glad it's out of the house right now. I'll get another and it will be ok

[zag95]

We're trying to declutter our pathetically crammed (finished, walkout, useless at the moment due to too much stuff) basement and I'm looking at all these massive pieces of baby gear trying to come to terms with the idea of not keeping it all for a potential 3rd child. We aren't sure we're done having kids, but if we do have another it won't be for at least another year. And having had primary and secondary infertility, the likelihood is really, really small anyway.

I'd keep the cradle, crib, pack & play, mac triumph, infant-to-toddler rocker and the travel booster. Some or all of these would be useful to visiting babies or future grandchildren and/or don't take up a lot of space. But then things like the baby swing, the high chair, the bouncy seat, the infant tub, the joovy stroller and the step & play piano exersaucer-type-thingy seem excessive to keep when we're not sure we'll ever have another child.

In my head I know I can replace all of these things if we are blessed with another child. But if I'm honest with myself, the biggest reason I'm balking at getting rid of these things is because a future DC3 would not have his/her "firsts" pictures taken in the same equipment - first bath, first meals, etc. That's really, really stupid, right? Someone tell me to go find someone who could use this stuff now and that there will be better things out there if I ever need it again...please?

Sarah

We are TTC #2 at this point and have all the gear saved. If I was in your boat, I'd probably purge some of the items you mentioned, as you can always pick them up at a consignment sale.

Another thought- do you need a crib, cradle and pack n play? Maybe lose one of those- I'd probably keep the pack n play for portability.... and depending on the recalls with the crib- decide between the cradle and crib- is the cradle a family heirloom or ? If is, pass it on to someone in the family to use!

[salsah]

i kept it (and still have it) but i am trying to get rid of it. not that i can't find someone to give the stuff to, but that i'm having a hard time parting. we are in the same situation as you. even though we also dealt with primary and secondary infertility, i still had high hopes of having a third. unfortunately, it didn't work out for us. i still haven't come to terms with it and even just writing this is hard for me.
i think it would have been easier on me if i had given most the things away as soon we were done with them. however at the time, it made sense to keep the things. but now, i feels as if it was a waste. not to mention that it is a bit painful now because now when i give the things away, i'm acknowledging that i will not have more kids. i feel like i'm closing the door on the option. obviously giving the stuff away doesn't mean that we can't try, but the fact that i'm giving them is away means that we are done trying and won't have more dc. not rational, just emotional.

i would say that if you need the space, get rid of them. the first bath will still be special even if it is different tub.

[citymama]

If you are thinking about a third, hang on to it.

In our case, we did get rid of some stuff b/w baby 1 and 2, but that's because we moved cross country! It pained me to have to rebuy it, more because of the hassle of researching etc than the cost factor. It's easy to not have to go through that again. I've been massively purging gear as DD1 outgrows stuff - nursing pillow, gymini, boppy play mat, bjorn etc have all gone. We are not planning to have any more kids. That said, I am hanging on to special baby clothes (more than I would just save as just keep sakes). On the very off0chance that we ever have a third, it would kill me to not have saved them!

[sarahsthreads]

i kept it (and still have it) but i am trying to get rid of it. not that i can't find someone to give the stuff to, but that i'm having a hard time parting. we are in the same situation as you. even though we also dealt with primary and secondary infertility, i still had high hopes of having a third. unfortunately, it didn't work out for us. i still haven't come to terms with it and even just writing this is hard for me.

I am so, so sorry. I totally understand where you are. Infertility sucks.

I almost feel like giving the stuff away would be taking some control back from infertility, in a weird way I can't explain. (For me, anyway.) I just am having a hard time dealing with my sappy sentimental side!

Sarah