How do you handle screen time for middle (& high) school DC?

[ourbabygirl]

Right now our kids are upper elementary, and we let them have an hour a day. They would sit on them for hours, if we let them. .

One is going to middle school, and I'm hoping to hold off on a phone, but they do have an iPod and iPad, so can still text a bit with friends. They're good students and do their homework, but I'm wondering how to loosen the reins and teach them to self-moderate. I never cared about video games at their age, but did watch a lot of t.v., especially in the summer. I still got good grades, but wasted so much time when I could've been using my imagination, or participated in more extracurricular activities. By high school, I had too much homework to have time for t.v., and didn't really have the internet until college (and only used it a bit back then).

What sort of technology/ screen limits do you impose on your older kids, and how do you motivate them to use their time more wisely, and not waste a ton of time on social media and video games?

Thanks for chiming in!

[MSWR0319]

I have a first grader and a fifth grader. We don't have a set amount of time per day. They know that they aren't supposed to sit and play on them all day and if they're on it too long I'll make them turn them off and they'll lose it for awhile. This week for example I don't think anyone played until Wed and then it was younger DS for about 20 minutes while we were waiting to go pick up older DS from practice. Older DS did play some last night and they've both been playing today, but on and off. So they played for about 30 minutes or so and then played a board game or went down to the basement to play real basketball. Then they just started playing NBA2K on the switch with one of their friends, so they'll play one game and then quit. If I feel like they've been on there too long then I'll holler up and tell them they have to get off soon and they usually come down. They're so involved in other activities that I don't mind them sitting and playing for awhile. It actually it one of older DS's stress relievers (not sure if that's good, but it does calm him if he's exceptionally stressed out). During the summer it's a bit harder, but they have swim every morning for the first half of the summer and then usually play outside in the afternoons with friends as long as it's nice. I don't have a specific method to help them learn to self regulate, but by me mentioning to them they've been on it too long, I've noticed they have started to not sit up there as long as they used to.

[Kindra178]

I’m not aware of any high schooler with screen time rules.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

None. If i see that they’re getting too sucked in then I suggest a break. Ime the kids who have a bunch of restrictions are the ones who seem to struggle the most regulating their use. They’re also the ones we see sneak around restrictions too.
Mine really will do other activities- just because I don’t have a screen time limit doesn’t mean their device zombies and I bet most kids aren’t. I just don’t see that gloom and doom play out among their peers. Ds1 wasn’t into social media til high school. My middle schooler isn’t interested yet (and we’d have him hold off on it).
My kids are active, get good grades and their amount of screen time would probably appall most of BBB.


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[bisous]

My middle schooler, DS2 only has access to tech when we log him into our family computer. He gets up to 3 hours of time on the switch on Saturdays if he completes his work and there is time. The kids get collectively one hour of television a day while I cook dinner. There are 4 of them and they are in charge one day a week. Much to the chagrin of my older kids DS3 chose to watch “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” for his choice this weed, lol. Friday’s are movie night and we don’t often watch on the weekends unless DH puts on something to watch with the kids.

The same rules generally apply to DS1, my 16yo high schooler. He also has an iPhone with safari restrictions. He does have Disney plus which he can watch when he wants to, and Spotify premium that he listens to often! He can text or call his friends. He only has access to the internet on our family computer or at school. He has an hour between early morning seminary and his first class of the day and he says he usually spends it looking up stuff about his favorite Marvel movies which I’m fine with because he gets great grades and is otherwise wise with his time.

I don’t believe that setting limits makes kids more rebellious or problematic on devices. While there are always anecdotes, research supports setting limits for kids and teens. In contrast to other posters, I know ZERO people in real life that wished they were looser with tech roles for their older kids. Again, that’s just an anecdote but research is also supportive of that position.

[gatorsmom]

ETA- I forgot to say that none of my kids get electronics in their bedrooms or bathrooms. All electronics must be used in “public” places in our house where either me or any siblings can walk behind them and look at what they are doing. Their electronics are charged in the kitchen at night. I talk to all my kids pretty regularly how electronics can be helpful and how they can cause problems in their lives. We have discussions about it pretty regularly since my kids’ friends have different restrictions and we talk about what they are all struggling with.

For my sophomore and 8th grader, videogames and anything else considered “leisure time activities” can only happen after homework, chores and other activities relating to extracurricular commitments. If they aren’t doing any organized sports at the moment, then they need to spend an hour on the treadmill, or riding their bike or something for exercise too. When everything is done, they can play video games. If I ask them to stop and help me with something, they gotta do that too unless they can negotiate with me for more playtime. But I’m a tough negotiator. . So far, this is working ok for us.

My 6th grader DS3 is struggling with this but he’ll catch on soon because if he doesn’t, I take the video games away indefinitely. When you know what they really want, it’s much easier to get them to cooperate.

It’s much more difficult to get them to do what you want and what they NEED to do, if you don’t know what motivates them. Dd is harder to push to do her chores and other stuff because the only thing she cares about is dancing. And after spending so much money on lessons, costumes, tickets, etc., it’s harder to take away that stuff. If there is something else she likes, she underscores it. ��

[belovedgandp]

My two boys are 10th and 7th grade. They have extremely different temperaments when it comes to electronics. I never really had rules for the oldest. As a family we ALL leave our devices in one central location when in the house and charge them in the central location. Keeping phones and tablets out of bedrooms is a big one for me. Since they are housed centrally, they tend to be used in our common areas.

The general rule is homework and house work before screen/goof time.

My 7th grader has a hard time unwinding to get to sleep. He will postpone his leisure and even required reading to before bed. He does much better when he hasn't had a screen on for about an hour before bedtime.

It's different now with the winter weather. When it is nicer, outside time after school trumps about everything else.

[SnuggleBuggles]

My middle schooler, DS2 only has access to tech when we log him into our family computer. He gets up to 3 hours of time on the switch on Saturdays if he completes his work and there is time. The kids get collectively one hour of television a day while I cook dinner. There are 4 of them and they are in charge one day a week. Much to the chagrin of my older kids DS3 chose to watch “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” for his choice this weed, lol. Friday’s are movie night and we don’t often watch on the weekends unless DH puts on something to watch with the kids.

The same rules generally apply to DS1, my 16yo high schooler. He also has an iPhone with safari restrictions. He does have Disney plus which he can watch when he wants to, and Spotify premium that he listens to often! He can text or call his friends. He only has access to the internet on our family computer or at school. He has an hour between early morning seminary and his first class of the day and he says he usually spends it looking up stuff about his favorite Marvel movies which I’m fine with because he gets great grades and is otherwise wise with his time.

I don’t believe that setting limits makes kids more rebellious or problematic on devices. While there are always anecdotes, research supports setting limits for kids and teens. In contrast to other posters, I know ZERO people in real life that wished they were looser with tech roles for their older kids. Again, that’s just an anecdote but research is also supportive of that position.

I know what the research says but I also think people start reacting without knowing if there’d really be a problem. But, with all of my parenting decisions I usually go with few rules (aside from basic health and safety ones) and apply rules as they are necessary. Just a different way to do it. Our way works for us and I’m sure other solutions work in other families. I was just sharing my observations based on their friends who have had more restrictions- they have had a harder time managing their screen time. Good that others don’t have that issue!


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[jjjo1112]

Curious to read all of the responses on this. Right now we control all phone/wifi time with apps but my 13 and 14 year old swear they are the only kids around that have such strict limits (and from the parents I've talked to, they are probably correct). It's really something I would prefer for them to self moderate with a designated shut off time at night but all the research out there that I've read keeps pushing me to implement limits. They are good students, involved in sports, do their chores, help when asked, etc. and we live in MA where right now it's cold enough to make many of the outdoor activities not as much fun. Nice to hear different perspectives.

[mom2binsd]

I have an 8th and 11th grader. Both are very busy playing travel sports. They have smart phones and our home wifi isn't "monitored/restricted". I haven't had to put in any rules, they don't seem obsessed with screens and it's not an issue with us. Never even been on our radar to have to limit it, as they love to go outside, they are active and social kids who have learned to self regulate. Over Christmas break DS 8th grade had his best friend visiting from out of town and they were up playing Xbox one night till 1am, no big deal, they didn't start till 10 and they slept in, had fun, I actually loved listening to them giggle while playing!

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