What would your punishment for this offense be? Teen driving related.

[AnnieW625]

So California has this (stupid imho) law that says once you get your license at 16 that you cannot have anyone but a sibling (that you are taking with you to school only) in the car with you for the first year that you have your license. Well DD1 got her license on 5/2 and took the car to school today (it is finals week so she is done at 11:30) and after school texted me she was going to shopping center A and I said that was fine (she went a few weeks ago alone and was fine…it was after her AP test and none of her friends are in that class so they still had school all day). She then called me from shopping center B (to ask me if I had a Bath and Body phone number on file w/them) and I heard laughing in the background so I asked if someone else was with her and she said yes. I told her that she cannot drive to school tomorrow. I also called my DH who was already out and said he had to go pick up DD1’s friend and bring her back here and or drop her off at her aunt’s workplace where she usually goes after school. Does there need to be more of a punishment? TBH I think now that she has done it once I doubt she will do it again. I am also tempted to make a 365 day cross off chart so she knows how many days are left until 5/2/2023.

Should there be more punishment than just a day? A week? A month? The whole summer?


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Is it necessary that she drive to school? Only seniors are allowed to drive to our hs and I think that’s a good rule. If it won’t cause a hardship, no more driving to school this year.
No more punishment than that.
Btw, same law here but it’s not one we enforced. Eta- aka he could drive a friend home from swim team 2 miles away.

Eta- other replies are good. I was just thinking “til the end of the year” was probably just a few days but I should check. How much school is left?

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[o_mom]

We have a similar law here (6 mos). I think it is a good idea to limit distractions for new drivers, but a year seems too long. We did expect our kids to follow it (many people around here don't care), but I'm sure they probably didn't at times. It helped that we were in a pandemic for most of that time, so nobody was riding in cars together anyway.

All that said. I think it depends on your DD. Is she one that can learn from a small punishment? I have one that one time being called out and missing a day would be enough that he would follow it from then on. Then I have one that would probably do it again the next day. That one would probably start with a week.

I don't think there is a right answer. A single day with a talk about why that law is there and stressing that you expect it to be followed, along with warnings that repeat offenses will mean longer consequences... seems adequate.

[gamma]

No punishment. Just a comment that you will always trust her unless she gives you a reason not to. So please don’t break that trust. If I trust you, you will always be given way more opportunities to do things than if I don’t. Please don’t disappoint me. That is usually sufficient.

[lizzywednesday]

NJ's graduated license law is similar.

I'd be pretty frustrated myself, but I don't think anything more than you've already done is warranted. I would figure out whether being officially "caught"/ticketed will result in anything more than a fine - sometimes, a violation means points on your license or impacts your car insurance; other times, it's just a fine. (In NJ, it's a $100 fine, which I think I would make my kid pay themselves.)

[jgenie]

I think one day off from driving is fine for the offense. If it happens again, I would come down harder.

[essnce629]

I think it's a good law, especially since teen drivers are distracted so easily. My DS1 has a good friend whose brother got his license over winter break a few years ago and then 5 months later was in a horrible accident with a close friend in the car (a student at DS1's high school). The girl (passenger) had to be cut out of the car with the jaws of life and 4 years later is still severely and permanently impaired (minimally conscious state needing 24 hour care). No drugs or alcohol were involved in the crash, just a very new driver on a windy road.

Not sure what the punishment should be, but I think it makes very smart sense not to allow very new drivers to have additional passengers for at least 6 months.

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[StantonHyde]

I 100% agree with this law!!! Distraction is a huge problem for teen drivers. We enforced this rule for both kids. I would say no driving for several days.


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[niccig]

DS did the same thing. I caught him. It is a big deal as if he’s in an accident with someone who shouldn’t be in the car, he’ll lose his license and it open us up to liability if the other person is hurt. We had been very clear with DS that it was a deal breaker and he would lose access to the car.

He lost access for 1 week.

We know other families that ignore this law and don’t care if their child drives someone else. We do care and DS knew to follow it. He choose not to, so had the consequence of no car.

Edit: Annie you and DH may need to discuss if you’ll enforce this law or not. If you think it’s stupid as you said in your PP, then DD will pick up on that. We did enforce it (I work with too many pediatric patients who’ve had TBI from car accidents). Other friends allowed their DD to drive one friend to school as the parents used to carpool. Other friends didn’t enforce it at all. Decide what you’re going to do and then tell DD so she knows what your expectations are and that there will be consequences if she doesn’t follow them going forward

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[KrisM]

I agree with the law and we have it here too. I would take the driving away for the rest of the school year.

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